We packed our lives into our little silver Corolla Sunday night and drove a solid 13 hours on busy highways from Chicago to Georgia yesterday morning.  We tried to be careful in choosing what we would bring, but when push came to shove, we had to remove four boxes at the last minute.  I tried not to look too closely at what I was leaving behind-I mean who needs a sweatshirt in the south?  However, if you come to visit us, you'll have to bring your own cup because we only managed to fit in two.  

There are a lot of unknowns in our future.  We don't have a place to live [yet].  We don't know what our daily life is going to look like at the office.  We've been eating oranges and peanut butter sandwiches for the past four meals.   And I already have what remains of our whole wheat bread ready for dinner.  Nevertheless, compared to goat intestines, this still echoes of gourmet!

Although I expect to live like this when we travel, it sure seems strange to do it on this side of the ocean.   I kind of like it.  I think we were born for this. 

Tonight we're going apartment, trailer park, basement or garage shopping.  Whatever we can find.  Then we'll get to unpack our overstuffed car and set up our home.  It's been quite a while since I've used that term with any semi-permanent meaning.  If it's big enough we'd love to have you over for dinner when you're ever down this way.  It is 62F today.  Does that help entice you? 

This is more of an incomplete update than a detailed one.  Hopefully we'll be able to fill in some of the blanks in the days to come.  Until then we'll be keeping ourselves busy with the apprenticeship program and grocery shopping.  We get to start everything from scratch!  I cannot wait. 

Love you all, the Swans.

 

 

I've seen God move in ways that I had only heard stories about. I've seen people step into the freedom that God has for them, find physical and emotional healing, learn to use their voice, to trust people enough to let them in, to love as Christ loves, and to bring a message of hope to the nations! 

All I can say is "Wow, God!"  Of all these things, I think my favorite moment is when somebody realizes for the first time how much God actually loves them.  I've seen this look so many times over these past four months, and it is worth giving my life to!

You see, when I went left four months ago, I was excited to be able to share my wisdom, my biblical knowledge, my masterful insight into people's emotional and relational lives and of course to have fun all the while.  These were what I saw as my major contributions to this squad.  God had different plans. 

The most significant contribution I made to these 55 awesome men and women of God was to show them a glimpse of what Father God's love is like.  This really is the most important thing!  Everything else pales in comparison to this.  Last week we got to have a time of debriefing with our squad, and as people talked to me and about me, they spoke not of my wisdom or anything, but of how I loved them.  I now understand when Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13 that even if I have crazy spiritual gifts and abilities, it doesn't mean jack if I don't love people!

Honestly, it has been crazy.  I feel like I have 55 kids, and I would venture to say that some of them see me as a kind of father!  In these past four months, I have prayed harder, laughed louder, cared more deeply, hugged more intensely, had more snot and tears on my shirt, and loved more passionately than I ever thought possible!  All of this has been a reflection of God's Spirit at work in me, because I do not have it in me to love people like this in my own strength. 

I can't tell you what a great privilege it has been to serve and love this squad, and God has used them to unlock things in my own heart and prepare me for loving people the rest of my life!

Thank you God, for knowing exactly what I needed and for giving me the honor of representing Your love to Your children.  Thank you W Squad for loving me back and for allowing me to be a part of your life!  I am forever transformed.  

We often get asked why.

Why we go on these crazy trips to countries people have never heard of. Why we purposefully give up electricity, hot showers and good food. Why we can't find a normal job, and live a normal life. Why?

So, here we go. Our answer from the last 3.5 months.

For Jonathan. Whose father died when he was 10 years old, leaving him with nine younger siblings. He has not known a day off since because his family depends on him for survival.

  

For the nameless. Who work 10 hour days in the dump gathering plastic bottles from the piles of trash and walk away with 2.50$. One day Samantha found a dead baby amongst the garbage.

For Fabio. Whose mother left him at home when he was an infant. The neighborhood kids would then come over and watch porn movies and imitate whatever they saw on him.

  

For Timmy. He watched his father die and his mother remarry. Only to then find himself [literally] sleeping with the pigs because his stepfather hated him.

For Marco. A man who is bedridden. He cannot walk. He cannot talk. His sheets are stained from urine and a stench of rotting flesh penetrates his room. The only visible movement comes from the trails of gnats and ants that dine on his open sores.

For Hector. Whose father is also his own grandfather. He was thrown away; dropped off on the streets with nothing but the clothes on his back.

For Juan. Who at the age of 5 already struggles with alcoholism.

For Us. Who are so thankful we get to live our lives loving these very people.

  

 

We have been in South America for three wonderful months and we begin our travels to Albania (Eastern Europe) at 2:45am tomorrow. These months have been filled with loving the most beautiful orphans, caring for the sick, holding the forgotten, and watching our world change around us.

It's going to be hard to leave.

We compiled a short video to grant you a better picture of what this time has been like. Enjoy! And maybe the people will begin to break your hearts like they have shattered ours.

We LOVE you!

 

 

When I first met Daniel I was expecting him to be dead. He was lying, passed out on the dirty cement in front of a small vegetable shop. But when we gently tapped his shoulder, he slowly staggered to his feet. All 70 pounds.

Daniel was absolutely vile. He only had one pair of clothes and it showed. His blue shirt was torn and died black with filth. His green pants were extremely short, eight sizes too large, and held up by a rough looking black rope. Even his yellow flip flops were well worn and too small for his bloated feet.

Daniel honestly looked like the walking dead. His body had been ravaged heavily by HIV, tuberculosis and a hard life on the streets. His arms and legs resembled 2-inch dowel rods, his cheeks sunk deep into his face, and his eyes were tired and skeptical. He was nothing but taught skin and brittle bones.

Although Daniel is only fourteen years old, he carries the life experiences of a 90-year old war vet. His nights are consumed by horror and dread from the numerous rapes he endures at the hands of older street boys. His days are covered in loneliness as he seeks to find a family that does not exist. And, he fills his nostrils with the only form of release he can find-the fumes of Elmer's glue.

This month we're working with organizations that love, serve and reach out to street children. Over half the boys who choose to come off the streets leave the home their placed in and go back. They have known the streets their whole life and struggle with the detox and structure. Our beautiful little Daniel desperately needs this intervention. This is a literal life or death situation and he doesn't have much time left. Our organization has been working with Daniel for three years and yesterday was the first time he agreed to hope--the first time he moved off the streets. And in his wisdom he told us, "At some point I am going to want to go back to the streets, but I don't want to go back. So, when that happens, please lock the doors and tie me down. I want a new life."

 

I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to be her. To have absolutely nothing in this world. To go to sleep lonely. To wake up lonely. To live each day lonely. To be abandoned by my parents. To be rejected by my world. To not even own the clothes on my back. To have nothing.

To wonder if you're special. To wonder if you have purpose. To wonder if you even matter.

 

The life of an orphan blows me away. I cannot comprehend living in a tiny cement building with 30 other kids. To have two adults attending everyone. To lay on my foam mattress each night and think heartbreaking thoughts about my value, my worth and my life.

   

At eighteen my beautiful Camilla will be released into this world. Even the little things she clings to today will be gone. The caretakers will have moved on to different kids. Her bedroom will be filled with new orphans. And she'll have to move forward with nothing in her pockets. Where will she go? What will she do? Who will care about her?

My heart is literally BREAKING this week as I wrestle every day and night with what I can do. How I can save her from this fate. How I can show her that's she's beautiful. How I can give her true hope. How I can change her life.

 

  

    

It shouldn't be like this. But it is. And I don't know what to do, but I promise you I'm going to do something. I'm going to leave this world different than I found it. I'm going to CHANGE the lives of Camillas, Marias and Neeka around this world because I know a God who empowers me to do so.

 

And with that being said, these last two weeks have been a tad bit difficult. My pack continues to lose weight and it's not because I'm giving things away. I've peed my pants three times because of an inflamed bladder and painful UTI. Our squad has been affected by a serious robbery that included guns and brutal threats of murder and human trafficking. We've had to move teams to different cities and alter plans every three minutes to accommodate the changes. And, I think I could sleep 42 hours straight just to recover from the stress that has come with all of the above. It's just been a lot to handle in a short time.

In it, God has made it very clear that I have a serious choice to make. I can chose to focus on the tiny little things that are making my life more difficult or I can focus on the abundance of ways that God is continuing to move in this place. I've realized these tiny little things often seem to be in the limelight, but if I choose to step back and take a good look, I see the hand of God much more than anything else.

Let me give you a better idea of what I mean. Here is another [very] accurate picture of the past days.

We are working with a family doctor from North Carolina who not only diagnosed my hives immediately, but had an abundance of medication in his home that I could [and did] use. My hives are about 97 percent gone at this time! I have the most amazing husband I could ever ask for. He held me when I cried this week, he told me it was all going to be okay, and really, he makes every moment of this trip 10 times better simply because he is here. Although our teams encountered some difficult circumstances this past week, God's protection was all over the place. Not one person was touched, harmed or injured. Everyone walked away whole.

As if all this was not enough, I have a bed to sleep in tonight, breath in my lungs, shoes on my feet, food in my stomach, clothes on my back, people who love me, purpose to my days, truth on my lips, hope in the depths of my soul, and a God who loves me.

     

 

Coming to Peru has been a shock to my system. The never ending jungles of Ecuador has been exchanged for a sea of sand. Currently we're smack dab in the middle of a brown dessert. There's dust and sand everywhere-on the ground, in the air, and mainly in my lungs. The poverty level has increased greatly and the days are quite chilly. Not exactly the most beautiful place, but it's growing on me.

Billy and I spent the past week with a team in a little town called Chepen. We jumped into painting, children's programs and meal preparations (can I just say how thankful I am that I love rice because we have it at every meal). We even got to help host a surprise birthday party where we had to come up with a game that could cross language and cultural boundaries.  So, we ended up playing musical chairs with 18 year olds. It was a riot to say the least!

Through this week I learned a hard lesson. And to be honest, I wasn't expecting it at all. While we were in Chepen, I was attacked by some super dessert bugs. I'm not sure what they were, but I can tell you that my body hated them. For seven days I had blotchy red bites all over my body and unlike any mosquito I have ever encountered (and being from Minnesota, I've encountered a lot), these things itched a lot. And to top it off, I started having a severe allergic reaction to them. The little pea size bites became the size of silver dollars and started spreading. Before I knew it, they covered ever part of my body. 

I was absolutely miserable. I hated being awake because it itched so badly, but I couldn't fall asleep at night (because it itched so badly). And when I did eventually close my eyes, I would wake myself up by all the scratching I was doing in my unconscious state. And that wasn't all. Before my third attempted medication started to work, my fingers started swelling from the new hives that were forming. We were far from home, so I yanked off my wedding band and put it in my wallet for safe keeping. Only to then discover, when I attempted to pay for our vegetables, that my wallet was gone. And so I cried. A lot. 

But God was quick to speak. This week in Chepen we read something that challenged me. It was a psalm (13) written by King David. David was asking God how long God would hide from him and was pleading with God to change his circumstances. But then, just as swiftly, David proclaimed that He would TRUST God, REJOICE in Him and PRAISE Him. Nothing had happened yet. God hadn't answered. God hadn't changed David's life. God hadn't done a single thing. But that didn't matter to David. David chose God. And I want the strength to do the same. 

So even though I'm still covered in itchy red blotches and I no longer have a wedding ring, I will choose joy. I will choose to rejoice. I will choose greatness because that is what God calls me to. Because my God is better than anything this world can offer. I will choose Him.  I just hope next time I have such a big lesson to learn, I can do it in a less painful and expensive way!